Return to Table of Contents, "Two Years in Salem (Studying Abroad from the Age of 60)"

Things I was interested in

1. Social Security Number

This is something like the player numbers athlete's wear. In the US, it is used for social welfare, and also for the national pension program. I was required to have this number when I opened a bank account, when I bought a car, when I got insurance, and the like. Chemeketa uses this number as a student's ID number.

For foreign residents, it seems hard to apply for the number. When I went to the social security office for the first time with my passport and my I-20 (my student visa), the office refused to issue me a number, saying I didn't need one. They accepted my application the second time when I showed them a letter of endorsement from school. The letter said the school wanted the office to issue a number to me in order to hire me as a temporary employee, which was just a pretext. An official asked me to write my mother's maiden name in the application form. I was at a loss what to do because I didn't remember her maiden name, or rather, I didn't expect to be asked to provide it. I wondered why they needed it, but anyway I wrote a false name and was able to get the number after all.

2. Baby shower

A baby shower is a party for a woman expecting a baby. People who are invited to the party give presents to the would-be mother. Besides baby showers, there are parties called wedding showers in the US. Tomiko-san was the person having a shower when she was nearly eight months pregnant. Her husband's friends (a couple) threw a baby shower for her at their home in June 1999. The couple had organized the shower, sending invitation cards and everything. About 20 people gathered at a barbecue party to celebrate the shower, in a big garden with a large folding swimming pool. At the party, I was really impressed by the homemade beer the host prepared. It was unexpectedly good, for I had been feeling American beer was a little less tasty than Japanese beer. I drank it from as many as six or seven small-sized bottles which had twist off caps.

In general the hostess or the couple make the list of gifts which they want, prior to the shower, in order to avoid receiving the same gift, at an appointed department store or supermarket. People who want to give a gift buy it there.

As far as I'm concerned, I heard from Tomiko-san directly what she wanted from me, and I was going to bring a pack of diapers which cost about $10 consisting of about 50 diapers, though I had anticipated giving a gift worth at least $100 because she seemed like my eldest daughter. Estimation about gifts for the shower seems to be different from Japan.

Gifts are generally packed beautifully and accompanied by cards. We have to pack goods ourselves buying our own packing materials because the shop doesn't have a wrapping service, or rather they won't do so, unlike in Japan. Supermarkets sell beautiful wrapping paper, strings, ribbons, and various sizes and designs of paper bags with strings.

Talking of cards, most Japanese must be surprised at the abundance of them. They are used independently for sending or handing directly to someone, and another usage is to attach them to gifts. Every supermarket carries birthday cards (designed and written for friends, parents, children, boyfriends, girlfriends, religious holidays, etc.). Christmas cards seem to be used as much as New Year's cards in Japan. There are also thank you cards, baby shower cards, wedding shower cards, cards celebrating admission to university, graduation cards, cards celebrating finding a job, etc. A supermarket, Safeway, where I used to go shopping, has display shelves 30-40 meters long for cards.

At Tomiko-san's baby shower, Tomiko and her husband, Steve, began to open gifts after dinner. With people around them watching, they tore wrapping paper off one after another, and showed the gifts, reading out messages written on the cards attached to the gifts. It took a long time to prepare that special ceremony. I must confess, however, that I was a bit embarrassed during the ceremony. I had not wrapped my small gift, diapers, and hadn't even attached a card to the diapers, because it was the first time for me to join such a party, and I didn't know how people celebrate such a special gathering.

3. Candle party

Candles are surprisingly widespread as ornaments in American homes. One home I visited had candlesticks of all sizes in every room, with two or more in each room. Another home had candles even in the bathroom. Supermarkets and other stores carry various kinds, colors, and sizes of candles and candlesticks.

I was invited to a candle party at Tomiko-san's house. Around seven in the evening when some 13 friends and neighbors of hers got together, a woman from a candle appliance company arranged various kinds of candles and candlesticks. when the candles were lit, the room looked so fantastic that I felt as if I were in a dream. The woman entertained us for about an hour, giving us quizzes and games like a TV show hostess. Then she showed us catalogs of her candles and candlesticks, and took orders. I bought one I liked as a souvenir. It was a precious time I would never be able to experience in Japan.

4. Surprise party

Americans like to throw surprise parties, secretly organizing a party for a person who is to be congratulated, mostly on his or her birthday. My wife came to see me in Salem at the end of my two-year stay in the US, to travel around the country with me. On my birthday, August 8, she and I were invited by Tomiko-san to have lunch at her home. Since the summer term had not finished yet, after class ended at 1:30, we rushed to her home around 2 o'clock. On opening the front door, I found many familiar people there, chanting, "Happy birthday!" which really surprised us. Among the people there, I found two Japanese friends who were absent from class that day. I wondered why they were not in class, especially Yasuko-san, one of the two who never skipped class without telling us in advance. They were preparing the party for me and my wife with other people, and they even skipped class. I felt very sorry for that. During the party, I received many birthday gifts, including a singing fish, a popular character (whenever someone goes past it, it begins to sing songs while shaking its tail), and a shirt with "Chemeketa" stitched on it. I had never been celebrated on my birthday by so many people, nor had I ever seen a surprise party. I would never have had such a wonderful experience had I not decided to live in the United States. I'm truly grateful to all the people at the party.

5. Supermarkets

In general, there are large parking lots in front of supermarkets, where you park your car by pulling into one of the diagonally arranged spaces. This way of parking was a big help for me because I'm not good at backing into a space. A store's entrance and exit are generally side by side, and use automatic doors. The inside of a supermarket is not so different from big ones in Japan, except for the checkout area. When you stand in line to pay for your things, you have to wait quite a while because shoppers buy three times more things at a time than in Japan, and if the shopper pays by check, it takes more time since you have to fill in the check and show some ID. But, there are different kinds of express lanes, such as for people with fewer than 15 items, fewer than 9 items, cash only, and the like. You can go through faster by using express lanes.

You can pay by check, cash, credit card, etc., but a debit card is the fastest and simplest way to pay. Besides its ATM function, a debit card also lets you pay for your goods instantly from your bank account, and also receive cash from your account at the register when paying for your goods. It's so convenient because you don't have to sign your name, unlike when using a credit card, and you don't have to worry about change like when you pay with cash. I always used my debit card, typing in my four-digit PIN at the counter, and at some supermarkets, my name, Masao Mizukami, was printed on my receipts, so some cashiers said, "Thank you, Masao. Have a nice day." I also used my debit card at gas stations. You can use it anywhere in the US.

Let me add a few more words as to banks. When you go to a bank to withdraw money by card, you can operate an ATM from your car, because some banks have drive-through ATMs.

Though straying from supermarkets in Salem, there is a store that sells Japanese goods and food, and also deals with Takkyubin delivery service to Japan. At the store, Hatsuyo's, I often bought sake, ramen, umeboshi or pickled ume, nori or dried seaweed, and other Japanese food. Before potluck parties, I bought Japanese sweets such as yokan.

Japanese people in Salem drive all the way to Uwajimaya in Portland to buy Japanese food that you cannot find at Hatsuyo's. Uwajimaya is like an oasis for Japanese, because you can find almost any familiar Japanese there. Kinokuniya bookstore from Japan has its own section in the store, too.

It was interesting to me to find many thrift shops that sell used clothes and stuff. Some were even chain stores. You can buy used cups, dishes, and kitchen utensils so cheap at these stores that short-term residents, especially foreign students, can save money.

There seems to be a stereotype among Japanese that America is a place where consumers buy a lot. and throw things away easily. Living in the US, I found that idea to be wrong. I think people in America use things with more care than in Japan. Houses, for example, are much better maintained in the US than Japan. You can find garage sales every day, everywhere, where you find old things that you may think are not worth selling. Seeing this, I learned that Japanese people should buy and use things with more love and care.

6. Outlet malls

Outlet malls are popular places you can buy famous brand merchandise at relatively cheap prices. People living in Salem used to go to an outlet mall in Lincoln City on the Oregon coast, over one hour's drive from Salem, but a new one was built in Woodburn, located closer. Japanese people visiting Salem seem to purchase a lot at this new mall.

When my wife and I took a bus tour of the United States, we were brought to an outlet mall in the center of the desert near Las Vegas. The place was pretty crowded with shoppers, which made me puzzled about how the business could attract so many people in such a remote area.

7. A little surprise

Hugs: To embrace others with affection. It is often seen that people are giving each other a hug, but when I was hugged for the first time, I was shocked. I made friends with a girl named Ligia from Brazil, but did not see her for a while, as we took different courses. When I saw her again about two months later at a Culture Fair, she came up to me, stretching out her arms, saying, "Masao, long time no see!" I tried to escaped from what was about to happen, but it was too late. I blushed at the first hug in my life with a lovely lady, surrounded by my fellow Japanese watching me. But it was not long before I got used to this wonderful custom after all.

Billiards: You can find billiard tables in most bars. It seems like bars are for playing billiards, not a place to enjoy drinking. Everyone played the game well. I didn't know that was booming in the US.

Catfish: I once enjoyed cooked catfish. The homestay mother of one of my friends cooked it. It was unexpectedly mild and delicious, and totally different from my peculiar notion of the fish. Catfish is cultivated mainly in the southern part of the US.

"Boyfriend" and "girlfriend": The words are quite different from what we say in literal Japanese, "otoko-tomodachi" and "onna-tomodachi." A girl who was usually with a boy was alone one day when I saw her. I asked her if something was wrong with her "boyfriend." She flatly said that he was not her boyfriend. I then realized that a boyfriend or a girlfriend is not just a friend, but one special person, or a lover.

Tattoo: In the spring of my first year in Salem, I came to know a shy girl in the tennis class. I often played with her. On a sunny day, she came to the tennis court in a sleeveless shirt. On her upper arm was a tattoo, which made me wonder why a girl like her had a tattoo. When it became warmer, I noticed that quite a few men and women wear tattoos on their arms. You can find tattoo parlors in downtown Salem, but frankly I wouldn't want Japanese to wear any.

Earrings: When I found a one-year-old baby wearing earrings, I thought her parents were lacking common sense. Later, I realized I was wrong, because the parents were decent, religious people. It seems rather common for American parents to have their children wear pierced earrings. Ten years ago, when I saw an American male pro-tennis player wearing earrings, I felt annoyed, but now I find many of these men even in Japan. I should keep up with the times.

Mercy killing: Oregon is the only state in the US that has a law allowing doctors to help terminally ill patients die of their own will. You often find newspaper commentaries that urge other states to adopt such laws, but there is a lot of opposition. As a person who wants to die PPK, pin, pin, korori, meaning to die without any symptoms or pain, I favor the idea.